Created for togetherness: The struggle to relate.

Do you ever hope that your children are terrible for your spouse? Am I the only terrible human being that secretly, or not so secretly, wishes that he experiences the worst my kids have to offer while I am gone away with the girls or at work?  They are always so good for him and it drives me nuts! This should make me feel really good and happy for him, but it just irritates me a little inside.  I want him to experience what I do. When he would come home after a crazy day with my two very strong-willed girls and I am a hot mess, he would usually look at me like I may have lost it a little at some point during the day. Let’s face it, he’s not exactly wrong, but it still made me feel like I was the only one who saw our kids in their awesome tantrum, sassy pants attitudes. I just want him to be able to truly relate, to have the same struggle that I do with them because I want to be able to share in the struggle. I want to be able to turn to him and have him immediately feel the same pain, so that we can work through it together. I don’t want to have to explain to him why I feel stressed out and just want to disappear into a nice hot bubble bath with the door locked and headphones in so I can’t hear anything.  Maybe I just want him to experience it so that I am not the crazy one that gets so frustrated with my kids.

We all want someone who understands us. Someone we can turn to that understands our pain. My example is just in my parenting, but it’s in everything we experience. From our insecurities to our anger issues, our addictions, our temptations in everyday life. No one wants to feel alone in our struggles.  It’s one of the greatest tricks our mind can play on us. The constant thoughts of being all alone with no one there to understand.  The idea that if we actually shared our flaws we are going to look so crazy.  It’s so terrible and judgemental, but in my mind, before I have my Jesus time and am still a terrible worldly mess, there are two people in this world.  The ones that are so perfect that I wouldn’t share anything with them because there is no way they could relate. They will look at me like I am nuts because there’s no way they share in the struggle.  Then there’s the people who are just a hot mess.  The ones that I feel like probably couldn’t he;p me even if they wanted to because they definitely don’t have it together.  Please don’t tell me I am the only one who categorizes people.  It is all in the hopes that someone can relate.  Even the ones that I see as perfect, have their own struggles.  No one skates through this life without running into the wall a great many times!

We were created to be social and together.  God made Adam and said:

“It’s not right for man to be alone, I will make a helper for him” Genesis 2:18

I know that this particular scripture is usually used in regards to marriage. However, I know my husband is my best friend. He knows everything about me (gasp.) Even the more peculiar things that, when we first started dating, I definitely tried to hide. Like the fact that I could be a slob, while he’s a clean freak. Only one example, there are a few.

I know that when God created Eve he was giving Adam a best friend! Someone he could connect with and share his life with. Then came the awful fall when they both ate the apple! Yes, Adam was right there, men can’t put all the blame on us. At that point Adam and Eve only had each other to turn to. They both experienced the same thing, so they knew what it was like to deal with the after math, and the walk afterwards. I’m sure at that point, every time they went to eat anything they were holding each other accountable. The first couple times Eve offered Adam anything I can just imagine him slapping it out of her hand in reflex. Absolutely my opinion, not based on any biblical fact.

When you have friends to walk through life together it makes things easier. Not only so there is someone you can look to and realize that you’re not actually alone, but so there’s someone who is willing to meet you in your dark places and help lead you back.

I know that Distortion Free isn’t just a blog to me. Yes, I use it to reach out to others and quench my love to write, but Distortion Free is a lifestyle! I want to share my life with you so that you can find the strength to share your life with someone else. The only way we are going to fight the lie that we’re alone in this fight, is if we start to speak up and share! I am not perfect and I will never pretend that I am. I want you to see my struggles and valleys as well as my mountain tops. Then and only then, can we really grow together. I hope that this story and this blog blesses you in some way. Even if it’s just a giggle when you needed one. My life can definitely provide a laugh for you. Or a sounding board for your struggle, a lifeline in your dark places. You matter and you deserve to know you are NEVER alone in this crazy distorted thing we call everyday life.

My situation may not be like yours, but please know that you can email or comment anytime and if I don’t have an answer I will find someone wiser and get you an answer.